School Refusal: The Role Anxiety Often Plays and What Can Be Done

Some children just love school and look forward to going each day. Others tolerate going but aren’t too fond, and others plain hate it. Then there is the final group of children-the ones who refuse to go to school. These children often suffer from a particular type of anxiety that may be triggered by a number of things.

There are in fact two types of school refusal that children may experience. The first is caused by separation anxiety, and tends to present itself early on in your child’s school career. It is very common when children are just starting school, or in their first year, but not so much once your child is settled in school.

However when there is an event that means your child has to stay home with you for a long time, for instance because they have been sick for a while, or they have been off on summer vacation, then separation anxiety related school refusal can be the result.

Phobics on the other hand may become afraid of going to school at any time. There are likely to be one or more aspects in particular that they are afraid of, and as with all phobias it is not easy for them to control it without treatment. They may be afraid of bullies, of academic failure, or another issue at school or on the way to school.

The overwhelming feature of school refusal is the fact that children may cry, may scream or have tantrums, or otherwise find ways to avoid going to school. Physical symptoms may also be present that can confuse the issue.

If your child is trying to avoid going to school they may complain of stomach aches, or a sore throat, or any number of ailments that they have heard of, or that have got them a day off school in the past. It differs from truancy in that it is often the parent’s decision to keep the child home, as opposed to the child pretending they are going, but then going elsewhere.

Physical symptoms of school refusal can be distinguished from illness because they are frequently present on school days but not the weekends. They also tend to fade a few hours into the day, once the child is sure that they will not be forced to go into school.

A child who has anxiety triggered school refusal may not be able to talk about what is wrong. Your child may only know how they feel and not why, and so you may need to talk to them and their school in order to find out what is wrong.

Childhood anxiety may be caused by frequent exposure to frightening or stressful events, though there may be other causes. It results in your child becoming scared, or anxious when in normal or non-threatening situations, and may lead to panic attacks.

School refusal is caused by anxiety in a similar way. Your child becomes anxious at the thought of going to school, of getting on the school bus, of failing a test, and they panic.

There are various things that your child’s anxiety may focus upon. Bullying is a common cause of very real anxiety, which may then lead to school refusal. Other social anxieties or fear of isolation, as well as fear of failure can also be present. In short, some children feel so driven to meet high performance goals that they fear failing to meet those goals. Separation anxiety is also a possibility, especially in younger children.

School refusal, even when caused by anxiety, can be overcome. The goal in overcoming school refusal is to get your child back into the routine of regularly attending school, and there are a number of things that you can try. First though is working out what role anxiety plays in your child’s school refusal.

Talking about why they don’t want to go to school is important. They may not realize the problems that they are experience, but you may be able to talk with the school. They may be able to relate incidents of bullying, poor grades or academic struggling, or general social maladjustment.

Each of these issues can be addressed. Schools have programs to overcome bullying, and the school counselor may be able to provide or refer help for social problems. When there are problems academically, your child may find a tutor helpful, in order to help them catch up to their peers, and also to maintain progress.

Special educational needs may also be met in the classroom. Schools have teachers who specialize in diagnosing problems, and finding ways to overcome them, including one on one teaching. Once your child has caught up educationally, the fear of attending school often fades.

If separation anxiety is the root cause, then it helps to take it slowly. Many schools are willing to work with families who have this problem, and will allow you to slowly build up the time that your young child spends in school until they are able to manage full time attendance.

It is important to contact the school regarding your child’s absence early on. There can be legal repercussions to allowing your child to miss too much school, and these can be avoided by advising the school and working with them to overcome the problem. They may be able to provide a tutor for your child at home that will stop them falling too far behind with their education, that may also be a stepping stone to returning to school.

A program of reintegration can be arranged between the family and the school. Unfortunately, it often requires strict adherence by the family, even though the child is apparently being traumatized by being forced to go to school. It is important to remember that your child’s anxiety is out of their control, and so emotional support is essential at this stage, as well as a great deal of praising when they manage to achieve the milestones that have set out.

Anxiety’s role in your child’s school refusal is clear, with it being the driving factor. There is a lot that can be done however, that ultimately will lead to your child returning to school.

If you suspect your child may be suffering from anxiety, click below to learn more about what you can do to help:

Click here to learn more about your child’s anxiety and what you can do to help