School Phobias: How Parents and Teachers Can Help

School phobia, also known as school refusal, is a highly common form of phobia among children and adolescents. This anxiety is characterized not as a fear of the school itself – for example, your child isn’t scared of the school building – but a fear of the circumstances surrounding the academic experience. It can be complicated by many factors, such as a fear of open spaces (agoraphobia), selective mutism, and social anxiety disorder. In young children, school phobia can be triggered by separation anxiety; in other words, your child is afraid of being separated from you during the day. In older children, fear of school can be triggered by academic anxiety; a fear of poor school performance can lead your child to avoid school altogether.

The symptoms of school phobia are straightforward and usually manifest themselves right before school: nausea, shaking, frequent potty breaks, and vomiting are the most common signs of the phobia. If a child with school phobia is forced to go to school, he will probably suffer a panic attack. Many children end up avoiding school altogether and not surprisingly, their academic performances suffer. That’s why it’s so important for parents and teachers to work together to help children with school anxiety get over their fears. Let’s take a closer look at what can cause this kind of phobia, and what parents and teachers can do to help kids get over it.

Possible Triggers of School Phobia

There are several possible triggers for school phobia, but they usually fall into one of two categories. The first is problems that are occurring in the child’s home. The second are problems that occur at school. Between these two categories, here are the most common triggers for school phobia:

• Being bullied by a peer
• Major life events, such as divorce or a death in the family
• Feeling like an academic or physical failure (being picked last for sports teams, doing poorly on an exam)
• Few or no friends
• Moving from one school to another
• Being new to school, such as moving from one grade into the next and changing campuses
• Being out of school for an extended period of time, due to illness or summer recess
• Problems at home, such as bickering parents

Many parents are reluctant to confront the source of their child’s anxiety, because they are worried it has been caused by bad parenting. Rest assured that while problems at home can trigger school phobia, most parents are doing the best they can in difficult situations. By acknowledging that your child is suffering from anxiety and working with him to get to the root of the problem, you can help your child overcome his fears. This can help him succeed in school, and give him the tools he needs to deal effectively with stressful situations later in life.

The Parent-Teacher Connection

Let’s begin our discussion of the parent-teacher connection by letting both parties know that a connection must be made. In other words, for you to work effectively as a team to help combat your child’s anxiety, you need to approach the teacher and let her know what’s going on. There are two major reasons this is necessary. First, you need to make sure the teacher understands that your child’s anxiety is real and that he is not simply faking it to get attention or to cut class. Secondly, the teacher may be aware of resources at the school that can help ease your child’s anxiety.

For example, some schools offer a transitional class for students, which are smaller and more intimate in size. This can make it easier for some students to assimilate into the school environment. You may not be aware of resources like this, but when you get the teacher involved, you can work together to help make the school seem like a less threatening environment for your child.

Setting Up Support at Home

Once you have established a connection with the teacher to help ease your child’s transition to school, it’s important to set up a similar support structure at home. This can be difficult if major life issues are making life feel very strained at home, but it’s important to try to overcome these difficulties for the sake of your child. Even when times are tough, you can set up a support network at home by following these easy steps:

• Establish a Routine – make sure your child’s day has a sense of order and sanity by setting up a scheduled routine. For example, you may follow the same before school routine every morning, by waking your child up at a specified time, getting dressed immediately, then breakfast, then brushing teeth – and so forth. Though it seems simplistic, having a routine establishes a sense of normalcy – something that usually falls by the wayside during difficult times.
• Implement Stress Reduction Techniques – use a self-help program to help reduce the overall amount of stress in your child’s life. These programs will help you implement stress reduction techniques like yoga, meditation, biofeedback, and laughter therapy to significantly cut back on the amount of stress your child is coping with.
• Teach Him how to Deal with Panic Attacks – these can be scary, and kids need to know how to deal with them effectively in moments of crisis. Using a self-help regimen, teach your child such techniques as progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), diaphragmatic breathing, and visualization to halt a panic attack in its tracks. This can help your child gain control just when he feels like he is losing control completely.
• Encourage and Support Him – now’s not the time to berate your child. Even though it may be difficult, you’ll need to exercise patience and show support. Hug him, tell him you love him, and most importantly, let him know how brave he is to work through his fears. Conquering school phobia is difficult at best, and any progress shows great effort on the part of your child.