Your Child’s Anxiety: Developmentally Normal or Is it Something More?

There are times in a child’s life where they may experience anxiety, or depression, or anger, or any number of strong emotions. Often they are appropriate and normal, but there are times when they are not, and in fact can be a symptom of a more serious or ongoing condition. It is important that you know when your child’s anxiety is developmentally normal, or when it is something more.

There are particular times when a child may exhibit the signs of excess anxiety and these are completely normal. When major events are approaching, such as the start of their first year in school, or approaching a period of testing at school, then your child will feel anxiety at various times, but still this is likely to be interrupted by periods where they are able to put it out of their mind-it is not all consuming.

Bullying and other pressures at school or within an after school group that your child is a part of may also cause anxiety that may cause them to dread or refuse to go to school. This is situational anxiety rather than being a psychological problem, and again should not be constant.

A death in the family may lead to ongoing anxiety that while it considered normal, can become abnormal, by triggering a lasting problem with anxiety. If a close family member dies the child may become afraid that others in the family may die. This can lead to them developing separation anxiety, especially if the person they held dear died while they were separated.

They start to fear that if they leave you or another person they love that they too may die whilst they are separated. They become afraid to let you go, and will do anything in their power to stay with you. This may lead to refusal to go to school, or other normal activities and may make it difficult for you to leave the child at daycare in order to go to work. Though there is a clear trigger for this type of anxiety it has developed into a bigger problem that may be abnormal, and that needs treatment in order for the child to move on.

Anxiety that is developmentally normal will change as the child grows up. In the earliest years separation anxiety is the most common form of anxiety, as is a fear of unfamiliar people or surroundings.

For a five year old however, normal anxieties now include such things as bugs, fear of the dark or monsters, and things that have previously made them feel unsafe. A child of around eight will begin to realize that the world itself is a pretty scary place and may have anxieties about something that they have heard in the news, or anxieties about themselves or a loved one getting ill, or even strangers.

Older children’s anxieties tend to focus more on the issues surrounding growing up into adulthood. These may be fears of dating, of not meeting performance goals at school, of finding a job or even deciding what they might be interested in as a future career, and many of the other things that define our role in society socially. These are all understandably worrying issues that can thankfully be reasoned out with your child as the need arises, in order to help them cope with their anxieties.

It is the times when the anxiety cannot be explained that are of greater concern. It is not to say that anxiety at any other time can be ignored, because even then it requires that the parent or another person help to ease the anxiety in order that the child is able to carry on with their life normally. However, when there is a suspicion of abnormal or ongoing childhood anxiety, professional treatment should be sought from your child’s doctor.

If a reason cannot be found for the anxiety, then other factors need examining. There are times in a child’s life when a certain amount of anxiety is deemed developmentally normal. Separation anxiety falls into the category of normal, but there are certain ages when this is likely to happen, and beyond those ages it is typically not normal.

Young children have powerful imaginations, and this means that make believe or intangible fears can come into play. It is normally possible to help the child use reason to get through these particular fears, if you can figure out what they are, even though they don’t physically exist.

How frequently does the anxiety present itself? If it is all consuming and present on a daily basis even when there is no logical trigger then clearly something is wrong-this is not developmentally normal anxiety. If the anxiety continues for long after the trigger-for instance a child with separation anxiety still struggling many hours later when the parent comes to pick them up, again this would not be normal. Separation anxiety should present at the time that the parent is leaving and usually lasts for only a few moments after the parent is gone.

Anxiety without an apparent trigger that is present more days than it is not is a significant indicator of a potential childhood anxiety problem. Situational anxiety may occur whenever the trigger is present, but when there is no clear trigger, the anxiety should not take over the child’s life.

How severe the anxiety reaction is, is also of importance. A child who experiences a full panic attack at the thought of going to sleep in the dark is experiencing an abnormal amount of anxiety. However a child who is a little upset and maybe expresses that they are afraid of the dark, is experiencing a more normal level of anxiety. These events should not be out of proportion with the thing that the child is afraid of.

If you are unsure as to whether your child’s anxiety if normal, or may be the tip of a much more serious iceberg, then get a professional opinion. Anxiety is far easier to treat successfully when it is a recent occurrence than when it has been a part of your child’s life for a long time.

If you suspect your child may be suffering from anxiety, click below to learn more about what you can do to help:

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