How to Help Anxious Kids Relax and Get to Sleep

Sleep is essential for many reasons in adults and children: it helps your body to restore and repair itself, it helps to regulate your body’s functions, and it’s necessary for your peace of mind and wellbeing. But if you have a child who struggles with anxiety issues, they may not be able to relax and get the proper amount of sleep. Lack of sleep can exacerbate the problems that underlie your child’s anxiety. Insomnia will also lead to poor school performance, which in turn can make your child’s anxiety worse. So breaking this vicious cycle is imperative if eliminating your child’s struggle with anxiety is your primary goal.

When adults struggle with insomnia, they often turn to medications that promote sleep, whether you are looking at over-the-counter sleep aids or physician-prescribed drugs. But these options are dubious even for grownups because of the side effects that they cause, making them absolutely inappropriate for children. So finding ways to promote sleep in your anxious child through all-natural means is your best choice.

Following are the top ten ways you can promote sleep in your child:

1. Keep your own anxiety contained

Your child can pick up on your emotional cues. So if you appear to be anxious, she will get nervous too. It’s important to set a good example as a parent, too, so use your child’s anxiety as a “teachable moment” to combat your own stress. Let your child see you practice stress-reducing techniques like yoga and meditation while encouraging him to participate. As you do so, you will be setting a good example, and your child will mimic you. As you seize control over your own stress and nervousness, your child will learn to as well.

2. Play music

Chances are that when your child was a baby, you used music to soothe him to sleep. Hundreds of parents sing and rock their babies to sleep, or play music quietly as they napped in their crib. There’s no reason to stop using music to soothe your child and prepare him for sleep once he outgrows his crib. Try playing soft, relaxing music about half an hour before bed to relax your child and set the mood for sleep. Classical and New Age music has been proven to be particularly effective for relaxation.

3. Try massage or acupressure

Massage and acupressure can help reduce stress and increase your child’s sense of wellbeing, as both techniques manipulate tense muscles and pressure points. This reduces your child’s blood pressure and lowers his heart rate. These techniques also stimulate his blood flow, allowing for more oxygen to reach his muscles, which relieves pain and tension. The reassurance of human touch can also promote relaxation in your tense child. You can find easy tips for massage and acupressure points by doing a quick Google search online.

4. Talk it out

Fears can seem much less intimidating when your child can voice them out loud. Always allow your child to have the freedom to talk about his nervousness, and provide a sympathetic ear to his problems, even if they sound small or insignificant to you. Often, just giving voice to his fears is enough for your child to relax and fall asleep. This has the added benefit of allowing you to see what’s behind your child’s nervousness, which can help you formulate a better plan for helping to ease his anxiety.

5. Aromatherapy

It’s been proven that certain smells can help promote relaxation and better sleep. Lavender, vanilla, and other scents can be used as a part of your overall plan for stress reduction, since they have particularly soothing qualities. You can purchase a lamp ring, which is available at many health food stores, as well as gift shops and home interior stores. Simply place a few drops of essential oil into the lamp ring and then set it on top of a light bulb in a lamp. The heat from the bulb will gently warm the oil, and the soothing scent will be released.

6. Offer reassurance

Sometimes, it’s just not enough to listen. Many times, you will need to provide reassurance to your child that his fears are normal. Many children, when confronted with overwhelming anxiety, begin to develop feelings that they are alone, or very different from their peers. Remind your child that anxiety in kids his age is highly common, and that you will work with him to help him overcome his anxiety.

7. Promote a relaxing environment

Sleep experts recommend “setting the stage” for sleep. That means that an hour or so before bedtime, you begin promoting your relaxing environment. Dim the lights in the house, play soft music, and encourage everyone to read something positive and uplifting before bed. Encourage your child to take a warm bath or shower at this time. Setting the stage can help ease the transition between playtime and bedtime while working towards curbing your child’s trouble falling asleep.

8. Avoid sugar and caffeine

You should be limiting the amount of sugar and caffeine your child consumes, but this is especially true if he is prone to anxiety. These substances will only exacerbate the feelings of anxiety he has. Encourage him to increase his intake of water, and save sugar for a special occasion or single treat during the day.

9. Try meditation

You can also take your child through a guided meditation exercise while you are “setting the stage” for sleep. Meditation promotes relaxation both physically and mentally, as it has been proven to lower the blood pressure and heart rate in those who practice it. It also helps to clear the mind and allow your child to focus on being in the moment. There are simple, guided meditation exercises available in most self-help programs that you purchase online; try one and see how it works for your child.

10. Avoid televisions and computers before bed

Studies have shown that watching television or playing on the computer before bed can hinder sleep. The bright lights of the screens can impede your body’s production of melatonin and serotonin, both of which help your body “shut down” for the night. By turning off the TV and the computer a couple of hours before bed, you can help promote your child’s natural melatonin and serotonin production, which will help him fall asleep naturally.